Are you always acting happy, even when you're tired and down? No matter how hard you try, do you find it hard to reach that elusive feeling of happiness?

If so, you're not alone. Many people feel like they have to be happy all the time, which often makes them feel even more tired and down. In this blog post, we'll talk about why this is happening and give you some tips on how to be truly happy and content with your life.

Little known secret: forcing happiness will backfire and leave you feeling much worse than before.

Happiness is not something that can be pursued directly. I take that back. It often can be pursued, and most people are pursuing it, but are left empty-handed despite their best efforts. That is because, like all emotions, happiness is temporary and fleeting. It's a byproduct of living a meaningful and fulfilling life.

πŸ’Έ Take it to the bank. That is always true.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But, I want to be happy! Isn't that the point of life?"


Happiness is not a goal. It is a result of a certain set of ongoing life experiences. We get this wrong because happiness is so often sold as a product that can be purchased. If you buy X, you will be happy. All happy people wear Y.

This process has a name. It's called the "hedonic treadmill." sound sinister

The hedonic treadmill is like a never-ending marathon in which you are continually pursuing the next item that you believe would make you happy. You could eventually receive that new automobile or the newest gizmo, but before you know it, you're on to the next dazzling item. It's like running on a treadmill: you're using a lot of energy but not going anywhere.

But happiness can't be bought, and it can't be made. Once you get other things in your life in order, it just is. This also has a name. It's called "eudaemonic happiness."

In a society concerned with quick fulfillment, eudaemonic happiness is like a deep breath of fresh air. Rather than pursuing fleeting pleasures, eudaemonic happiness is about discovering a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in life.

How do I find happiness? Stop seeking results.

The results don't tell us who we should be.

  • You may get a flush of excitement when you step on the scale and your weight plummeted over the past month. But it's fleeting. Real happiness comes from completing a hard long-term goal.
  • My sons are awesome...until they're not. My happiness is not based on their tantrums and moments of disrespect. I'm giving myself up to help grow two little humans. That's real happiness.
  • Don't spend your first 65 years of life working your way up the ladder (and denying everything of true value: integrity, family, self-care) so you can retire and golf your happiness back. No golf-cart can carry that much happiness.

And this is why attempting to be happy will ultimately lead to dissatisfaction. Because attempting to be happy implies that you aren't already your greatest self, that you lack the characteristics of the person you wish to be.

Happiness does not come from inside you; it comes when you decide to pursue what is within you.

That is why it is so difficult to keep your happiness. It always appears to be just around the corner, waiting for you to arrive, as anybody who has set great goals for their lives only to achieve them and still experience about the same level of happiness/unhappiness will testify. You'll never be satisfied with your present level of happiness and will always feel that there must be more you can do. This, too, will turn out to be a delusion.

That's because the "best version" of you is always three steps ahead and just out of reach. If you think your happiness will be achieved when you grab that version by the coattail, you will live an entire life of dissatisfaction. We go on regular walks to one day run a mile. When we complete our first 5k race, we want to run a half-marathon. There is a common denominator between the person on the couch and the one running the half-marathon: it's you. You have to be satisfied with who you are today and don't believe the mirage that acquiring or accomplishment will purchase your happiness.

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Let's Bring It All Together in 131 Words

In the end, happiness is not a place that we can get to by following a set of rules or buying certain things. It is not a fixed state that we can reach and keep for the rest of our lives. Instead, it's a process that changes over time as a result of a certain set of ongoing life events. It comes from living a life with meaning and purpose that is in line with our core values and principles. True eudaemonic happiness can only be found when we stop making happiness our goal and start living in the present with gratitude and contentment. Let's not give in to the hedonic treadmill and the myth of the "best version" of ourselves. Instead, let's accept and love who we are right now.

Stop Trying To Be Happy. Try This Instead.