3MN: what you need to know about the dark side of influence.

3MN: what you need to know about the dark side of influence.

Happy 3-Minute Thursday!

You are busy, so let's make this quick. No fluff, no filler, no spamming. This newsletter will help you think in the best way and be a Christian on purpose.

๐Ÿ’ฌ In the next three minutes:

โ˜๏ธ A tragic story on maintaining reputation and following a narcissist.

โœŒ๏ธA quote challenging the difference between influence and manipulation.

๐Ÿ‘Œ A reflection on your influence.

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๐ŸŒŽ Minute 1 - A reminder about the dangers of influence.

"Shiny Happy People" is a new documentary that sheds light on the controversial Duggar family, known for their radically conservative values and lots and lots of kids (19 total). The film exposes the contradiction between the family's carefully curated image of happiness and the disturbing revelations about their dark secrets: from the sexual abuse scandal involving one of the Duggar sons to the dozens of accusations of sexual misconduct against the Duggarsโ€™ guru, Gothard.

It's a tragic story of a vile attempt to maintain reputation and the challenge of reconciling their public persona with their private struggles. It raises important questions about the nature of "celebrity" and the authenticity of the image portrayed by public figures.

A healthy church can bring people together. But it must also teach its members that certainty is hard to come by, that humility is an important part of the Christian faith, and that the desire for power goes against what Jesus taught.

๐Ÿ’ฌ Minute 2 - A quote from a survivor of manipulation.

An observation from Rebekah Drumsta, a "survivor" of the IBLP Christian fundamentalist group led by Gothard:

Gothard created systems that pointed out problems he invented so that he could provide the solutions to those problems. A genius manipulator or was it all accidental?

This is a symptom of a narcissist. It's the deceptive act of setting fire to a forest in order to be hailed as a hero for protecting people from the flames. This is how politicians gain more votes, shoe companies increase sales, and churches gain more converts.

  • Influence is negative when one manipulates others simply for someoneโ€™s own selfish purposes.
  • Influence is positive when one persuades others in order that both/all parties obtain the results they want.

The major difference is in the intent.

๐Ÿฅฆ Minute 3 - Who are you influencing?

As Christians, we strive to be influential in our faith, but it's important to navigate the fine line between influence and manipulation.

๐Ÿ‘‰ Here are some reasons why people turn to manipulation:

  • Reason 1: Insecurity. Manipulation stems from insecurity. Embracing God's love helps us find worth beyond appearances. Letting go of insecurities, we build genuine connections based on love and mutual respect.
  • Reason 2: Fear of Rejection. Fear of rejection fuels manipulation. God's perfect love casts out fear. Finding security in Him, we release the need to manipulate, fostering relationships grounded in openness and vulnerability.
  • Reason 3: Desire for Control. Manipulation seeks control. Surrendering to God's sovereignty, we trust His plan and let go of futile attempts to control outcomes. Humility and cooperation replace manipulation, aligning with God's purposes.

10 more ways to avoid manipulation ๐Ÿ‘‡

The Art of Influencing with Integrity: 10 Steps to Avoid Manipulation
Everyone has influence. Some peopleโ€™s influence captures millions of eyes on a social media platform, others is seen only by two small sets of eyes who find their daddy praying on his knees. Influence is about people despite the term being robbed by the idea of a platform. As Christians,
Who in your life do you hold the most influence? Are you living a life worth following? I want to hear from you. Send your reflections or thoughts by simply replying to this email.


W W W T W B W, B T C O F W S H.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. - Proverbs 13:20

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Until next week,

Payton Minzenmayer

p.s. - Do you ever feel like many people are struggling to find their purpose in life? Discover your purpose and rediscover joy with my upcoming book "Purpose: A Story to Make Sense of Life." If you're interested in making this book a reality, reply to this email.