8 Weird Traits to Become More Likable

I am awkward by nature.

Most of my time is spent bouncing between my ears, wondering how not to be so awkward while invoking my most awkward self. It’s a real struggle.

I just want to make a good impression, and I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes.

My job is in communication: publicly on a stage, privately in counseling sessions, online with strangers, and strategically with other leaders.

Here are the behaviors I’ve observed that make people enjoy being around you:

Have a calming presence.

It’s easy to care more about yourself when with others.

Did that sound stupid?

How am I coming across?

Instead of focusing on what others are seeing, focus on the moment. Relax your mind, which will in turn relax your body.

Quit habits that bring you shame.

The most important thing to most people is their identity.

A Christ follower. A parent. A spouse. A botanist. A bi-lingual.

The majority of your identity will be formed when nobody is looking.

If you consistently do things that bring you shame, you’re shaping your identity.

Live well and with pride, both in and out of the spotlight.

Lean in when you listen.

The likelihood is that you are not present in most of your conversations.

You’re too busy thinking about what you will say next to fully hear what someone is saying.

A vast amount of communication is non-verbal. When you lean in slightly (not awkwardly), you’re telling both the person and your brain that you are listening.

Relax your body's posture.

Drop your shoulders, unclench your fists, and stop fidgeting with your legs.

Being nervous in conversations is 100% normal, but if you are close to another person physically, they likely won’t open themselves up to you.

This will also help ease your mind.

Soften your face.

Your resting face says a lot about you.

I’ve been known to be very intense with my listening expression.

You don’t need to crazily smile like you're auditioning for The Joker, but a light smile and engaged eyes will go a long way.

Make others more important.

Insecure people highlight the failings and faults of others.

Confidence is often found when you’re able to easily spotlight someone else.

This is the 60/40 rule. In every conversation, try to make 60% of it about the other person and only 40% about you. It will change everything for you.

Ask meaningful questions.

With that in mind, learn to ask good questions.

In a world soaked with smile niceties, “How are you?” “How’s things goin’?” Few people know how to ask good, meaningful questions.

As you develop a genuine curiosity for others, these will come naturally. Until then, I recommend you go into a conversation with a couple of questions already thought through.

Don’t gossip. Ever.

You demonstrate your class and character by being unattached to it.

Moaning, complaining, and gossiping are low-quality behaviors that not only taint others but also yourself in the eyes of others.

I will rarely tell secrets to someone who tells me secrets.