3 Mistakes That Will Kill Your Marriage

3 Mistakes That Will Kill Your Marriage

When two people get married, their chemistry is usually off the charts. However, with time, many come to find heated arguments, petty bickering, and tremendous disappointments.

I don’t know if you have noticed, but marriage is failing everywhere. A ballpark average is that 50% of marriages do not go the distance.

Mistakes are inevitable; there are numerous mistakes you will make in marriage.

But these three will kill any marriage given enough time.

1) Not Making Intimacy A Priority

It’s easy to neglect marriage. You need to transport the kids from one activity to another, your boss is breathing down your neck, and the neighbor’s grass is starting to look much better than your own.

Almost nobody gets married and thinks, "I want to have a bad marriage. I want to lose intimacy. I want to give this thing a shot and then split it all down the middle seven years down the road and have the kids on the weekend."

All marriages have good intentions; we love each other initially, but life wears us down. We get tired, we get worn down, and we get overwhelmed. We maybe even want to show the love that we feel, but we don't do it.

If you don’t make intimacy (not just sex, but real connection) a priority in your marriage, then two boats will slowly drift apart. Communication will break down. Kids will suffer. And families will fall apart.

So, it’s time to water your yard if the grass looks greener somewhere else.

2) Failing To Understand What My Partner Needs From Me

Scenario #1: I am so focused on what I was (or wasn't) getting my willingness to give was sometimes based on feeling resentful or bitter. Whenever I felt that way, I gave very little.

Scenario #2: I am so focused on defending my wife that I butt myself in or give advice when all she needed was to vent about something on her mind.

In both scenarios, I was not after my wife's interest but my own.

Couples often remain stuck because they assume they know what their partner needs or is seeking from them when they should listen more intently to one another.

Be slow to speak and quick to listen.

3) Not Making My Expectations Clear

It is wrong to assume that your marriage will go on auto-pilot the further into it you go. It is wrong to assume you will know everything your spouse needs or that your partner will be able to read your mind when you hit year 10.

Communication with your partner must be open and often if you want your marriage to last.

Couples commonly dig in their heels when a lot of little things stack up on top of each other, and then that last thing is the straw that breaks the back of the marriage connection.

Don’t allow your marriage to get there. Make your expectations clear and work together to give one another what you want in a marriage.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. 

What About Your Marriage?

Reflect on your marriage happiness for a moment. Turn your thoughts inward and think about how deeply connected you FEEL with your spouse.

Is that good enough for you?

How many more days will you continue to allow your marriage to struggle? How will it ever stop if you keep making the same mistakes?

If you don't take some corrective action, you will kill your marriage